


let me tell you, hyungwon

by chaemoongie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending?, Happy Minhyuk, How Do I Tag, I don't know, M/M, Sad Minhyuk, Sad?, happy hyungwon, pain?, sad hyungwon, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 03:20:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaemoongie/pseuds/chaemoongie
Summary: minhyuk did a pretty good job saving hyungwon





	let me tell you, hyungwon

I. after declining changkyun's invitation to join another party, hyungwon turned his phone off then shoved it into his pockets, he fixed his gaze on the glass window but he's not really looking anywhere. he's just, staring blankly at nowhere. he can still feel the cuts on his wrists sting, the cuts are new sets, the older just started healing. hyungwon can't keep count of how many times he attempted suicide, been trying for so many times but to his dismay, he just won't die.

hyungwon started cutting his wrists at the age of eighteen, after seeing his father beat his mother, after seeing his mother accidentally stab his father, after seeing his father cough blood and collapse on the ground, after seeing his brother being sent to a mental institution because of drug overuse. hyungwon blames his self of what happened to their family, of being incapable of stopping his father, or his mother or his brother. so every midnight, he tries to kill his self but he just won't die. like the heavens above isn't on his favor, or the hell down there don't want to entertain him. so he just put lacerations on his wrists and arms, hoping one cut would finally end him. 

 

hyungwon's train of thought halted to stop when he felt someone sat beside him, he didn't make the effort to move his head. he don't care whoever sits with him, they're just strangers after all. but it seems that the stranger have other plans, poking his arms to catch his attention. hyungwon heaved a deep sigh before turning his head, welcomed by a bright smile. he pursed his lips and waited for the stranger to talk, waiting for it to tell what it actually needs to him. having another friend is the least thing he wants to do, he just want to visit the place he saw on the internet, named The Puppy Haven.

 

" can we talk? i turned my phone off before riding this bus but i know this trip will be boring so i would like to have someone to talk with, or if you don't want to talk, i'll just talk myself and you'll just listen. is that okay with you? i hope thats okay with you because i can't entertain boredom and i'll literally die " the stranger starts talking, with an expectant eye and that bright smile hyungwon swore he's getting blind. hyungwon really don't want to talk nor to listen, but the stranger looks eager to talk so he just nods his head. the stranger smiled once again and it's face brighten up he thought it's the sun itself he's looking at.

the stranger started talking, started by introducing his self, his name is minhyuk, and talked about stuffs.minhyuk started talking about the weather, the climate, about his satan incarnate bestfriend who's nagging rivals his moms naggings, about dogs, and whales, about coffees and paintings and songs and bands and hair colors and so much more hyungwon isn't sure if minhyuk's still breathing while talking. along the way of listening, hyungwon felt his eyelids become heavier, and minhyuk's voice became a lullaby that drove him to dream land.

hyungwon woke up at someone poking his cheeks and bopping his nose, he groaned before opening his eyes, welcomed by minhyuks face wich is too close to necessary. he was startled, almost shouted but minhyuk stops him, putting his face away before smiling brightly again. minhyuk scratches his head and he smiles wider

 

" i really dont want to disturb your slumber but my stop is near and i'm not sure where you're off to, and i also don't want to be rude leaving you without saying goodbye so yeah, rise and shine hyungwon " minhyuk explained before smiling wide again, hyungwon heaved another sigh before realising him and minhyuks stop are the same. looks like they're both headed to the same place and looks like minhyuk will be stuck with him for the whole day. hyungwon cleared his throat, he can feel his heart beat as he's nervous by he don't know why. hyungwon looked at minhyuk, the latter looks like waiting for him to say something

" are you perhaps headed to The Puppy Haven? " he asked and minhyuks lips parted before turning into an o before smiling widely again. he's amused by the transition of minhyuks expressions, he's amazed how minhyuk have many expressions to offer. 

" yes! yes! are you going there too? you love puppies too? wow! what a coincidence! " minhyuk exclaimed happily before clapping his hands, hyungwon shakes his head while turning his head to face the window, so that minhyuk can't see that little smile crepting out on his face. hyungwon's not sure why he felt warm. maybe because of the bus? maybe because they're too close their limbs are actually tangled? maybe bacause minhyuk rivals the sun? he don't know.

 

the bus stopped and minhyuk's the first one to stand, he followed suit and they get off, heading towards the establishment. upon going inside, hyungwon felt another warm feeling inside, seeing the puppies run around and play. hyungwon looks over his side but minhyuk already ran his way to the puppies, playing and hugging it while giggling. hyungwon smiled once again before approaching the puppies too.

hyungwon and minhyuk spend their wholeday playing with the puppies, eating and talking. hyungwon isn't sure why he felt so comfortable around minhyuk, the latter is so warm and bright and funny. they're now eating in a bench outside the establishment, minhyuk started telling him stories again and he just listens. he stares straight at minhyuks eyes and he sees something, some mixed and messy emotions he can't decipher. hyungwon loses himself looking at minhyuks eyes, those emotions somehow bothers him. there is something in his eyes, something strange but familiar.

" hyungwon? hyungwon are you alright? " minhyuk asks while snapping his fingers. hyungwon blinked before shaking his head

" yeah? "

" i'm going home now, kihyun will freak out if i'd stay longer "

" oh, yeah yeah, im going too "

 

they walked their way to the bus stop and waited.

 

II. minhyuk threw his phone somewhere in his room after declining kihyuns call, he stares at the white small pills sprawled on his floor and a broken glass before messing his hair. they're back. the monsters are back and they're trying to get minhyuk again.

he didn't noticed hyungwons messages.

minhyuk once again messes his hair before lying at his bed, staring at his ceiling for a moment before falling asleep. actually falling asleep after three days of being widely awake.

minhyuk was woken up by his phone ringing, he remembers throwing it somewhere so he thought of it being broken already. he finds his phone, seeing it lying on top of one of his pillows. he sighs before opening it, a bunch of missed calls from kihyun and hundred messaged from kihyun, hyunwoo and hyungwon. he ignores kihyuns messages and directly opens hyungwons. he smiles before standing up, washing his face before heading to his kitchen to find something to eat, composing his replies on the way.

he texts hyungwon while eating some foods kihyun had brought the other day, he's asking if hyungwon would like to join him visit this place where they can watch a pre-recorded live performances of foreign bands. he's not really hoping for hyungwon to join, he just asks. he wants new presence by his side, someone who wouldn't look at him with such pity. don't get him wrong, he loves kihyun but he's just tired of seeing that constant emotion in kihyuns eyes. like minhyuks the most pitiful person in the world, like he's so weak. and he hates that, so he wants a stranger company.

he smiles to himself when hyungwon replies, actually agreeing on visiting the place. so he finishes eating his food, putting it on the sink and heading back to his room to look for some decent looking clothes.

he decided to take some bath, enjoying sometime on his tub, head beneath the lid of the tub, beneath the water. after the third song on his playlist, he decided to get up and dress up. he pulled some oversized sweater, a ripped pants and some sneaker.

they met at the bus stop, hyungwon's sitting while still looking asleep. he smiles to himself before approaching him, tapping hyungwons head lightly, his touch lingering on his head. hyungwon looks up, smiling before standing up. they waited for the bus for a minute, and riding it immediately when it arrived.

they sat beside each other, the warm feeling spreading through their bodies. they stayed silent, looking outside, watching busy people do their things. the bus stops, and they stand, getting off and heading to the place minhyuk wants to visit.

they observes the place first, it's not that big, it looks in between an arena and a cinema, with the posters of different foreign bands at the side and some neon lighted signs. minhyuk walks in first, hyungwon following suit. they're welcomed by a cinema looking interior, with the dark hallways, only the neon lights giving some light, a merchandise booths and food stalls on the other side . they bought tickets, walking inside finding seats at the left and right part of the place, a huge screen on the center and a large speakers at the side.

they took a seat somewhere in the middle, not too far and not too near. there are also plenty of people entering the place while holding vouchers the counter has given them before they enter. hyungwon looks at the voucher, the band they'll be watching is Twenty One Pilots. hyungwon knows them, he liked some of their songs. it's inspirational.  
" the songs are new, from their trench album with few from blurry face and vessel. this place have taste " minhyuk comments while looking at the voucher, scanning through it. hyungwon nods, he haven't heard of the trench album yet.  
the video started with the live performance of Stressed Out, minhyuk sing alongs sometime. he's amused, minhyuk have beautiful voice. it soothes his mind.

it was followed by Ride, Stressed Out, Tear in my Heart, Message Man, and Heavydirtysoul wich are from the Blurry Face album according to minhyuk, and followed by Guns for Hands, Ode to Sleep,House of Gold, Isle of flightless birds,Bandito,Nico and the Niners,Jumpsuit,Chlorine and Morph. titles are still according to minhyuk, which he tells him everytime a new video would play, the last one was truce, wich gave him goosebumps. the song is short, but very beautiful

II. Hyungwon stares at his phone for a moment, then to his wrists then back to his phone and to his wrists again. the crimson red fluid's still streaming, dripping onto his floor. he smiled bitterly before sighing and resting his head on top of his palms, recalling the day he just experienced. it's surprisingly fun, minhyuk's fun to be with and he's looking forward on meeting him again. he likes that fuzzy warm feeling when he's beside minhyuk, or even when he's just staring at him, watching him giggle, talk, laugh, scream. he's just with minhyuk for a day but he's already comfortable with the man, hoping for another meetings.

without realizing, hyungwon fell asleep while sitting on his bed until he slowly fell on top of it without being woken up.

he woke up to a warm sunlight seeping from the small opened space of his rooms curtain, he rubs his eyes before sitting and reaching for his phone. after unlocking it, he realized he had recieved too many replies from minhyuk, smiling at himself before standing up to freshen up before composing his reply. 

minhyuk's asking him to join visit this cafe next week, wich offers not only coffees and pastries, but also canvases wich you can use to paint on. they're a cafe wich you can paint and display your work or bring it home, it depends on you. he agrees, he wants to try the coffees and pastries, but also wants to see minhyuk.

 

III. a week had passed. hyungwon and minhyuk's meeting outside the cafe, smiling at each other before getting inside. they are welcomed by few costumers wich are busy painting. hyungwon looks around the place, there are canvases, pencils, water colors and oil pastels at the side, a counter at the middle and a stair at the other side. he stares at minhyuk who's also busy looking at the whole place, he looks so amazed and thrilled and hyungwon feels his cheeks heating up. he shakes his head before walking to cashier, minhyuk following suit. the staff welcomed them, smiling warmly before asking for their order. hyungwon orders his usual drink, a coffee americano while minhyuk ordered a strawberry latte with some sweet pastries. minhyuk asked if he can actually paint and the staff said yes so he excitedly made his way to the supplies, skipping and hopping. getting his canvas, some pencils and oil pastels. he situated himself upstairs, which is an open area, with a scenic view and fresh air. hyungwon's only following, watching minhyuk's everymove, not even bothering getting his own supplies. minhyuk looks at him confusedly, like asking why is he not carrying any supply, and he just sighed 

" i don't paint nor draw, don't want to waste any materials " he said, but minhyuk frowned

" neither do i. no ones gonna judge your work, everyones work is an art peice so you better try " said minhyuk before smiling brightly, and again, hyungwon sees that emotion. that strange but familiar emotion. he sighed again before standing up and getting his own materials. he placed his material beside minhyuk's before sitting. again, he watched minhyuk do its work. he's so serious and fixated on his canvas, with his eyebrows actually meeting each other, his lips jutting out into a small pout, but all he got in it is a messy outlines of black pencils and black oil pastels, nothing more.

" what are you doing? " he asks but minhyuk only shook his head

" i told you i don't know how to paint nor draw, i'm just trying my luck. go make your own " minhyuk answers without sparing him a glance, he shakes his head before focusing on his own canvas. but minutes had passed without him actually starting something so he decided on watching minhyuk do whatever he's doing.

" here's your order sir, thank you for waiting " hyungwon bowed at the staff before placing their orders on their table. minhyuk stopped painting or drawing or whatever it is and starts on eating his bread while sipping on his strawberry latte. they're both silent but it's a comforting silence, the air gently caressing their faces.

" hyungwon? "

" hmmm? "

" i want to save you. can i save you?"

" huh? "

" i want to save you. from that thing"

" from what thing minhyuk?"

" from that thing. from being thorn. being ruined. being swallowed. from falling,from drowning, from hurting. from madness. from dullness. from coldness. from dying. i want to save you hyungwon, can i save you? "

" minhyuk, why are you talking about this? im not...im not dying "

" can i save you hyungwon? will you let me save you, hyungwon? "

" minhyuk "

" can i save you hyungwon? will you let me save you, hyungwon? "

" fine. yeah. whatever "

" are you letting me save you, hyungwon? "

" sigh, yes minhyuk. i'm letting you save me "

" thank you " minhyuk says before hugging hyungwon who's still confused. he isn't sure how did minhyuk knew about him trying to kill himself. they just met a week ago but it seems like minhyuk knows him well, like minhyuk knows something. he shrugged the idea off. minhyuk released him and continues eating, they stayed silent again, until they finished eating, until minhyuk finished his painting and displayed it on the corner in the first floor, until they left the cafe. they parted their ways on the bus stop, minhyuk's the first one to leave, waving his hand while smiling widely. hyungwon shakes his head, recalling minhyuks words. minhyuk wants to save him. someone wants to save him. and for the first time, he wants to be saved. he wants to be alive.

 

V. minhyuk was welcomed by kihyun, who's standing in the middle of his living room, staring at him. minhyuk smiles and walks to kihyun, and hugs him

" where the fuck have you been again, minhyuk? are you ignoring my text messages? " kihyun asks and minhyuk giggles

" ofcourse not. i was out with some friend, we visited this cafe and i forgot to bring my phone with me. sorry ki, not gonna happen again " said minhyuk while still hugging kihyun who just sighed

" minhyuk, meeting with friends is not a problem. but please, don't ignore my messages and calls, okay? "

" hmm, okay. anyway, how's it going with wonho? "

kihyun became flustered and minhyuk smiles to himself, just by hearing wonho's name, his bestfriend transforms into a living potato. 

" i don't have any business with him, why would i have a business with. why are you asking me about him, don't ask me about him " kihyun answers defensively while still being flustered, minhyuk giggles once again before releasing kihyun and sitting on his couch

" relax, ki. no need to be thrilled, i was just asking "

" well, don't ask me about him "

" but you dated tho "

" minhyuk! that was just one time! "

" and? numbers doesn't matter, if you like him and he likes you then be together. i hate being in the middle of that sexual tension between you and wonho "

" minhyuk, he doesn't like me okay? he has someone he likes and it's not me "

" but his eyes says other wise and don't forget, actions speak louder than words "

" minhyuk, actions speaks louder than words, yes. but he don't even say nor show me anything. i don't know if he's just being oblivous or if he's purposely ignoring it " 

" then talk to him, ask him to clear things with you. he can't keep on leading you going nowhere. you have to know where you should stand. avoiding him wont fix anything "

" i know. and i'm the problem. i'm just... scared. i don't want to know my place so i avoid him "

" ki, i don't want you to get hurt, so i'm telling you to talk to him. the longer you do this, the longer you'll hurt. atleast after talking to him, you'll know your place and will hurt for one time. you don't want to live in what if's right? "

" sigh, alright alright. i'll talk to him, but not now. i have to save enough courage "

" alright, for now let's sleep. cuddle with me because i know you need it "

" alright alright, i'm doing this because you asked to "

" if i know, you want to cuddle with me "

" go on, keep on dreaming "

 

VI. weeks had passed, hyungwon and minhyuk kept on seeing each other, visiting different places, trying things and minhyuk saving hyungwon. for three weeks, hyungwon can safely say that he's genuinely happy. he stopped cutting his wrists and his old scars are healing faster. he started accepting that he's not at fault, any of his families incidents, it's not his fault.

it's been three days and minhyuk haven't messaged him. looks like minhyuk didn't have any plans for the day, again. hyungwon's lounging at his couch scrolling through his phone, waiting for minhyuks texts.

" hyung, we're meeting with hoseok hyungs friends, do you want to come? " changkyun asks, hyungwon thinks for a while, minhyuk haven't texted him, so maybe they aren't going anywhere today. he nodded before sitting straightly

" hmm, i'll just fix my self " said hyungwon before standing, changkyun nods, busies himself with his phone. hyungwon quickly took a shower, wore some comfortable black hoodie and a ripped jeans before heading back to changkyun

" kkung let's go " he said and they left

-

hyungwon and changkyun arrived at a karaoke place, hoseok and jooheon's already with someone, they're already partying like drunkards, singing, dancing, screaming and playing. hyungwon shakes his head, taking a seat somewhere in the corner and busies himself with his phone. minhyuk's still not messaging him.

" but kihyun, i told you that will be the last stick! "

" you've had enough cigarettes for the day minhyuk, too much nicotine will kill you "

" but that's what i want! "

" nicotin?! "

" dying! "

" minhyuk! " kihyun and hyungwon shouted in unison, minhyuk whips his head unto hyungwons direction. his eyes and lips turning into a large O

" hyungwon? what are you doing here? "

" you know minhyuk, hyungwon? "

" you know him, minhyuk? "

" let's talk minhyuk "

hyungwon drags minhyuk out of the room, bringing him somewhere dark and cold. the rooftop.

minhyuks sits, pulls out a cigarette, lighting it and dragging hard before blowing. hyungwon watches, sighs before sitting beside minhyuk. he notices the bruised knuckles, mixed colors of purple, blue and red.

" why do you smoke? " he asks, minhyuk shrugs

" release some stress, and coldness "

" why do you hurt your self? "

" release some stress, and dullness "

" minhyuk "

" let's not talk about it, alright? i'm still the minhyuk you knew, i just smoke and knock some wall but i'm still minhyuk "

" minhyuk i'm not judging you, okay? i'm just...confused? i don't know. you want to help me but it seems like you need help too. why would you save me if you needs to be saved too? "

" am i not allowed to save someone because i can't save my self? are my efforts discredited because im drowning too? " minhyuk asks, and hyungwon don't know what to answer. he can't gather the right words to say, he don't know how to say things he wants to tell him.

at the moment, hyungwon realizes that the emotions he sees in minhyuks eyes everytime he looks at him are indeed strange but familiar. they both have that emotion, that broken emotion, that ruined emotiong. they suffer from the same monster, they have the same monster.

" it's alright if you don't want my help anymore. i understand " minhyuk says before standing up, throwing the cigar he's holding. hyungwon moves fast, holding minhyuks wrist, stopping him from going anywhere

" minhyuk...i... im sorry. don't put it that way, okay? i'm not doubting you, i'm not disregarding your efforts. i appreciate your effort so much. but please, let me help you while you're helping me, okay? let's save each other " hyungwon pleads while hugging minhyuk, the latter melts at the hug, sighing before hugging hyungwon back

" alright. let's head back, we still owe them explanations "

" you make it sound like we dated behind their back "

" looks like it in my opinion "

" honestly, true "

" i knew it, you like me "

" and so what if i do? "

" you've got to be kidding me, you can't like me. i'm not likeable "

" your behavior says otherwise, you're too good to be true "

" i know, i'm called jack of all trades "

" now you boast? "

" you still like me though "

" sigh, can't argue with that "

they both laughed before walking back,minhyuk and hyungwon is welcomed by five pairs of confused eyes, they both sighed before sitting in front of them, getting ready to get borbardized by questions.

but it didn't happen, their friends just smiled at them, looks like a congratulatory smile. hyungwon is confused, minhyuk is not.

" what's with the looks? did something happened? " hyungwon asks, jooheon wiggles his eyebbrows

" i think we are the one who's supposed to say that. what happened? how did you met? how long have you been together? when's the monthsarry? have you had sex already? " jooheon asks and he earns a slap on his back, caused by kihyun.

" you ask too bulgar questions, just let them okay? "

" kihyun is right, let's not meddle with hyungwon's and minhyuks relationship. let's be happy for them "

" i knew i wouldn't have a say in this friendship, i should buy new set of friends "

" stop being too dramatic, it does not suit you "

" anyway, the drama's over. lets party! "

" right! right! it's party time! "

they started ordering new set of alcohols and foods, jooheon and changkyun not letting the mic go and hyunwoo fixes the food while smiling, wonho and kihyun gone somewhere, maybe to talk, or something more. minhyuk's just smiling while watching his friends, hyungwon's busy staring at minhyuk, holding his hand like he'll lose him if he lets go. their night continued like that. somewhere between night and morning, kihyun and wonho returns, both smiling while holding each others hands. minhyuk notices, but didn't said anything. he held hyungwons hand tighter without looking at him.

their night ended up with five out of seven drunk, with minhyuk and hyunwoo being sober. their friends are mumbling something they can't understand or didn't bother to understand.

" let's take them to my house, it's just around the corner " hyunwoo says and minhyuk nods, guiding hyungwon who's been clutching to him like a koala and kihyun who's cursing him, telling him to stop killing himself. he shakes his head while they're waiting. hyunwoo easily gets a taxi, pushing the four drunkards on the back seat and looking at minhyuk after

 

" take them with you, hyung. i'll just get us some medicines and foods, also extra clothes " minhyuk says and hyunwoo looks at him, like he knows what minhyuk is planning

" no minhyuk. you ride the taxi with them, and i'll get another taxi for myself " hyunwoo says, minhyuk knows hyunwoo well. he's like their dad, what he says should be followed. no buts. but a try wouldn't hurt. so he whines

" hyung, belive me i'll follow. i won't do anything stupid " minhyuk argues but hyunwoo stays serious 

" minhyuk " hyunwoo says using his dad tone, minhyuk sighs before sitting at the front seat. hyunwoo talks to the driver, probably telliing him his address. minhyuk stays silent, fixing his gaze into the window. not long after, the taxi gets moving. he was startled because someone hugged him from the back, he hears some sobs so he turns his head and sees kihyun crying on his shoulder. he feels bad, but he can't do anything about it.

" ki, stop crying. why are you crying? " he gently asks, patting kihyuns head. kihyun isn't the type to show his vulnerable side. he may look like some angry hamster all the time but he's vulnerable inside, he easily get hurt.

" when would you listen to me, minhyuk? dying is not always the solution. there are thousand of ways, why would you always resort into ending yourself? are we not enough? don't i help you enough? talk to us minhyuk. talk to me. tell me things that messes with your head, share your agony to me, show me your miseries, tell me your pains, lets fight those monsters together, open your self for helps. i'll help you, we'll help you minhyuk. let us help you " kihyun mumbles between his sobs, tears are burning minhyuks eyes, there's a sudden lump on his throat and he can feel his heart broke for the thousandth time. 

he love his friends so much. they're his family, his brothers. they're the only one he's got. he treasure them so much and he wouldn't want to burden them with his pains. kihyun's facing enough problems with his father being homophobic and hyunwoo's still recovering from his girlfriends death. he don't want to burden his friends, he's useless enough for them, he's not enough for them so sharing his miseries with them is the last thing he wants to do. 

minhyuk didn't said anything. he just silently pats kihyun's hair while wipping his own tears. he loves them so much, and he believes that dying would help them have their lives easily.

kihyun fell asleep on his shoulders, he gently holds his cheeks to prevent him on falling and hitting his face. they arrived at hyunwoos house a few moments later and hyunwoo's already getting off from another taxi. hyunwoo helped him take the five others inside, they placed them on his living room. hyunwoo heading to his bathroom to get some basin and water. they cleaned them, changed their clothes and fixes them with the comforters he and hyunwoo arranged on the ground, they covers them with blankets. minhyuk lays down beside hyungwon, who hugs him tightly while nuzzling it's face into his neck. he caresses hyungwons soft fringe. humming something that lulls him too. not soon enough, he falls asleep too, with the dried tears and a messy mind.

VII. minhyuk's the first one to wake up, he sits on the couch and watches his friends sleep. he's debating wether to stay or leave. he wants to do it now, but he don't want to do it in hyunwoo's house. 

he stares at them one by one, memorizing their features, carving them onto his eyelids. he wants to remember them, he wants to bring their memories with him. so stares at them, longer at hyungwon. he lays down again, caressing hyungwons cheeks, tracing his jaw, bopping his nose, messaging his hair and scalp, and finally kissing his lips. he wipes his own tears before deciding on standing up. but hyungwon holds him,hugging him tightly. minhyuk chokes on his sobs, putting his palm on his mouth to prevent producing any sound. he can't say that he loves hyungwon, but he is important to him, he treasure him in his heart. if he'd be given another life, he'd spend it loving hyungwon, he'd spend it with hyungwon. it's unfortunate they met at the wrong time, in such an awful situation. 

VII. minhyuk's the first one to wake up, he sits on the couch and watches his friends sleep. he's debating wether to stay or leave. he wants to do it now, but he don't want to do it in hyunwoo's house. 

he stares at them one by one, memorizing their features, carving them onto his eyelids. he wants to remember them, he wants to bring their memories with him. so stares at them, longer at hyungwon. he lays down again, caressing hyungwons cheeks, tracing his jaw, bopping his nose, messaging his hair and scalp, and finally kissing his lips. he wipes his own tears before deciding on standing up. but hyungwon holds him,hugging him tightly. minhyuk chokes on his sobs, putting his palm on his mouth to prevent producing any sound. he can't say that he loves hyungwon, but he is important to him, he treasure him in his heart. if he'd be given another life, he'd spend it loving hyungwon, he'd spend it with hyungwon. it's unfortunate they met at the wrong time, in such an awful situation.  
he stayed beside hyungwon for another hour before finally standing up. he looked at them for the last time before bidding his last good bye.

 

VIII. hyungwon woke up feeling heavy. he didn't know why. it's raining outside and the atmosphere inside is gloomy. he let's his eyes adjust to lights before looking around, there is something wrong.

he sits from the comforter and roams around the house. hyunwoo is sitting on the couch, face planted on his palms, kihyun and hoseok is missing while changkyun's emotionless and jooheon's looking at him wich such weird expression. his eye's are red and swollen. and he can't feel minhyuk's presence. there is something wrong.

" what hapenned, joo? did you cried? " he asks nervously, somethings heavy inside him. his heart's beating way too faster than it should be, his ears and eyes are burning and his throat dries up. there is something wrong.

" h-hyung...hyung...minhyuk hyung " jooheon mumbles, and just like that, his tears started streaming on his face. he don't know why but he's really feeling heavy. he stands up, suddenly feeling dizzy but still continued walking. something's wrong and he needs to see minhyuk.

changkyun hands him a paper, he's hesitant on getting it be he still did. he slowly opens it and sees minhyuk writings. he swallowed the lump om his throat before starting to read it.

' hey won, my greatest won, my best escapade partner won :)

how are you? i hope you're fine :) if you're reading this, i'm probably gone. but don't be sad :) i still want to tell you things, so smile while you're reading this, alright?

let me tell you hyungwon, meeting you is the best experience i've ever had. i'm very glad i met you, hyungwon. my summer solstice. i thought... i thought everything's alright, but hyungwon, those monsters, they really love visiting me. they really love messing with me. they really love ruining me. the day we first met, i was about to meet with some psychiatrist, but then, i saw you staring out on the window. i saw your eyes, they're so hurt, so ruined, screaming for help, i saw my own eyes. The moment i saw you, i told my self i'll save you, because that way, it's like i saved myself too. for the times we're together, i saw changes in you. i saw that i'm able to save you. and there i thought i saved my self too, but i'm wrong. hyungwon, the people i love, there's nothing wrong with them, it's me, i can't save my self.

you're important to me, i feel inlove with you but i'm not saved. there were still monsters inside me, they're still here, they don't want to leave me. so i decided on running away from you, running away from this world so that these monsters can't hurt people i love. they'll vanish with me.

hyungwon please, please don't blame your self. i'm happy that i saved you, i'm happy that i'm able to save you, even if i didn't saved my self. cry now hyungwon, but please promise me to smile and appreciate life tommorow and forever.

i love you hyungwon, always and forever. thank you '

 

" h-hyung, minhyuk. i need to see...minhyuk " he said after reading the letter, hyunwoo lifts up his head, his eyes are swollen too and there are still tears flowing on his face.

" h-hyung...please...i need to see him " he pleads, hyunwoo stands and walks off. he follows, riding the car and hyunwoo starts driving. the way they're taking is way too familiar, hyungwon has been there.

and his hunch is right, they stopped in front of the hospital, he immediately unbuckles his seat belt. running to the entrance, not minding getting soaked. he stops in the hallway, he isn't sure where to go, so he waits for hyunwoo who's tailing behind him talking to his phone. upon seeing hyungwon, hyunwoo turns his phone off, guiding hyungwon.

they stopped infront of a stainless door, he hears some cries and screams from inside. his legs feels weak, he falls on his knees in front of the door, choking on his sobs. hyunwoo helps him get up, guides him inside after opening the door. there he saw kihyun, a whole crying mess. he's holding minhyuk's body while screaming. he's holding minhyuks lifeless body while screaming. hyungwon felt dizzy again, everything around him spins but he managed to walk near minhyuks body. minhyuks lifeless body. 

hyungwon started by poking minhyuks cheeks, pinching them and slapping them, but to his horror, he didn't get any reactions.

" minhyukkie...minhyukkie wake up...minhyuk...min you promised me...we talked right? we talked already! you agreed on letting me save you! we promised to save each other right?! minhyuk! minhyuk wake up! minhyuk! min...min...min " hyungwon collapsed on the floor, his tears drowning his face. and the last thing he can remember was kihyun's cries and screams

 

IX. hyungwon wake up abruptly, sweats are pooling his body and he gasps for air before shifting his body into a sitting position and looking to his right. he heaves a deep breath, feeling relieved before lying down again and hugging the person next to him.

" hmm, won, your shirt's wet. what happened? " minhyuk asks while roaming his hands on hyungwons back, his eyes flutters open. hyungwon tightens the hug, burrying his face on minhyuks neck

" i had the same nightmare, min. same scenario. what if it happens? " he whispers into minhyuks neck, minhyuk wraps his right arm around hyungwons waist while the other messages hyungwon's temple

" it won't happen, won. i'm not dying, nobody's dying. we're both happy and contended with our lives, so nobody's dying. alright? go back to sleep now, we still have work tomorrow " minhyuk whispers while still messaging his temples. hyungwon hmms, holding minhyuk tightly in his arms and falling back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what i'm doing :(: i'm dumb so forgive me. you can throw tomatoes or potatoes but please don't hate me :(:


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